What's Up With Andrew Now?
(His wee willy winky)  

Well, he's still straight.  He too, spent eight months bettering himself with post-secondary education, but in order to prevent any accidental work-doing, he majored in film, where you watch crappy Iranian films like "Gabbeh".  One of the top directors in Iran, my ass!  How many directors can there be in Iran?  They're all busy bombing things in the name of Allah and covering up their women, and shit.  (Editor's note: Lousy Ethnic Albanians.)  He plans to one day write the movies that keep the world entertained, and children safely blowing apart their schools with semi-automatic weapons.

The young female who is mentioned throughout this site, is no longer his main squeeze.  She dumped his lazy ass, because he was going nowhere, and didn't want to change himself, and had no ambition, and wasn't fully utilizing his skills, and had a small penis.  But don't worry, there's no hard feelings towards Maggie.  Who, by the way, if she didn't have a vagina would be useless.  Just kidding, they're actually still good friends.  But she better not ever lose that vagina.  It's her ticket to the top.  what . . . ?

On the plus side, he now has a new girlfriend named Gimpy Rogers, on account of her gimpy arm.  You see, when Gimpy was born, her shoulder blades was all fucked up, and she had to have all the nerve endings in her arms collapsed.  And now her right arm movement is limited.  She can't salute, or put her hair up, or jack Andrew off right handed.  Do you know how annoying it is to be mere inches away from busting a nut all over your bellybutton, and then hear the girl go "Hold on, I gotta get on the other side."  True story.

Andrew too met several wackity, smackity crazy people in the big city.  The following are a list of those who don't suck:

Poot Quinlan: One of Andrew's main homies up in TO. And also one of the hippiest hippie motherfuckers he has ever met.  This guy would not shower for four days all because he forgot to shower.  Here is a reinactment of a conversation Andrew once had with him:

Andrew: Hey, Poot, man.  When was the last time you showered?
Poot (looking around, puzzled): Ah, shit. I'll be right back.

This guy often also forgot to cut his hair, change his clothes, and eat on a regular basis.  He had to be reminded to eat.  Now THAT's a hippie.  More positively, he could make the stupidest things sound intellectual, and didn't listen to shitty hippie music.  He listened to punk.

Mikey: The third member of the Gang Bangers that Andrew and Poot belong to.  Also, one of the biggest dudes you'd never want to mess with, and Andrew only got in fights when he was sure Mikey was damn near in his pocket, ready to liquify all who opposed him.

Anna Mudde: Andrew's surrogate mother.  She actually breastfed him once, but that's another story.  Available at http://www.ididjamom.com Andrew tutored her in "Having More Fun", to which she should remain ever-grateful, because now she's getting laid on a regular basis, by some gink named Mike.  And she's no longer using condoms, so there will be many little ginklets running around lecturing Andrew.

Feel free to send Andrew naked pictures of your mom, because he's almost positive that Gimpy is dying to expand her horizons and try some new things.  Of course, she still keeps turning Andrew down for anal sex. True story.
 

More fun than Ryan's, yet not
as much as "Mein Kampf"
Proceed.